Fuck audits.
Fuck the dirty looks from teenage girls who lost computer privileges for going on facebook during class. Actually cancel that, they make me laugh when they give me the big hairy eyeball.
Fuck! the over use! of exclamation! marks!!!!! (go here. pay close attention to #1)
Fuck rain on the day I ride. Fuck it sideways on days when I wear leather.
Fuck dead hard drives, and those who expect me to fix them.
Fuck people who want to connect to the school’s network, but have never ever installed virus software on their POS laptops.
Fuck inkjet printers.
Fuck my lack of skill in embroidering features that makes a bear go from smiling to scheming.
Fuck those who gank someone else’s pictures or text and call it their own like they’re clever. Just. Fucking. Stop. It.
Fuck people who not only condone stupidity, but encourage and celebrate it.
Fuck floppy disks.
Fuck cheap air conditioners.
Fuck involuntary celibacy.
Fuck cliffhanger TV episodes.
Fuck those who re-heat fish in the school microwave.
Fuck knee-jerk panic. Yeah, swine flu, I’m talking to you.
Fuck hand sanitizer. I’m going to go wash my hands whether I use it or not, so why waste it and my time?
Fuck parents who give 12 year old kids Mac Air laptops, iPod touches or some other expensive technology, and then get bent out of shape when the kid loses it. They’re TWELVE; they lose their damn boots in the middle of winter for gods sake. And you sir, how responsible were you when you were 12? Hmm?
Fuck people who think that someone else will clean it up, pick up, put it away, fix it. If it’s your mess, you fucking deal with it.
Fuck grumpy old biddies who want to stifle children’s laughter. It’s a PARK, they’re KIDS, it’s OUTSIDE. No, I won’t tell them to be quiet. And BTW pick up your dog’s shit; Kids play here, you daft old cow.
Fuck clients who don’t pay their invoices.
Fuck conversations that start with “So Kat, you know computers, right? I have this problem…”
Fuck bad coffee.
Fuck whoever stole the book I was reading. I was two chapters away from finishing it and I’d have given it to you freely in a day or so.
And yes, I do feel better now.
on Apr 30th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
I was thinking of doing a similar post but changing the word fuck to my favourite at the momonet which is bollocks!
I feel your pain on the bike front. Fuck the fact I broke my wrist the day before I was due to take my bike test and fuck the fact I can now no longer afford the training, test or bike!
on Apr 30th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
“Fuck involuntary celibacy.”
At least that would solve the problem.
on Apr 30th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Thanks for the link to Whatever. The comments are excellent, too!
Oops, I mean they are excellent, too.
on Apr 30th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
Fuck fuck.
Hope you are doing good
Kipper
on May 2nd, 2009 at 12:25 am
[...] her previous blog mainly because she has a love of poker and motorcycles like my good self. Anyway, her post from April 30 made me laugh. I must warn you that is mentions a word that rhymes with duck but starts with an [...]
on May 4th, 2009 at 12:15 am
Sweetheart . . . you need some hugs and kisses after reading this one!
Big smooches.
on May 4th, 2009 at 10:52 am
Hmmmm…
You need something, but I can’t quite put my finger in it.
on May 17th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
[...] nature’s whims. I was content, that is, until exactly 12:43pm, when I lost power. I evoked Katitude, and started cursing falling [...]
on May 25th, 2009 at 9:50 am
[...] forward to yesterday when I mentioned my last fuck post to Keith. “You know” he said, “it is a very useful word in the English [...]